


Love Poem

by OwlFae



Series: Connor writes poetry. [3]
Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Connor Lives AU, Connor writes poetry AU., Evan is dead AU., HE WRITES A LOVE POEM, I'm almost sorry., Love Poem - Andrea Gibson, M/M, RIP
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-11
Updated: 2017-10-11
Packaged: 2019-01-15 22:42:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12330327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OwlFae/pseuds/OwlFae
Summary: "You are the moon when it blooms for the very first timeand the child, inspired, unwound the little jar that set 10,000 grasshoppers free.And you drive me fucking crazy.I mean insanely."Connor realizes he's in love with Jared and writes a poem to fix things... Kinda.





	Love Poem

**Author's Note:**

> It's me again, and I'll pretend to be sorry.

Connor stared at the paper in front of him, glaring a hole into the paper. He wishes that the ink would catch fire. 

"Jesus fucking Christ!" Connor screamed in misery. This was hard. Zoe came in after his exclamation of angry frustration that ripped through his body like a hurricane. It had been 8 months since Evan died and 5 months, 3 weeks, 2 days, 13 hours, 57 minutes, 49...50...51...52 Seconds since he realized he was in love with Jared Kyle Aapeli Kleinman. 

"Connor, what's wrong?" Zoe asked, concern lacing her voice thickly. 

"I can't write a love poem." He groaned miserably. 

"Just think of him. Think of everything you love about him. Think about everything you feel towards him and want to say. Write it." Zoe said as though it was plainly and painfully obvious. Like a zit in the middle of his forehead. 

Connor just stared at her and then the cogs in his head began turning and swirling like the smoke from his blunt.   
***************************************************************************

It had been 9 days, 3 hours, 38 minutes, and 1...2...3...4... seconds since he became a one-man think tank kicking into overdrive. He soon wrote a good poem and tracked Kleinman down. 

"What do you want, asshole?" Jared asked, heatedly the poem from 7 months ago still burning in his memory. 

"For you to fucking listen." He spat. 

"You are the music of two grasshoppers making love on a rosebush outside my schoolyard,  
where four-year-olds ask me,   
“Connor, what are the grasshoppers doing?”   
and I tell them they’re dancing to the music  
of you are the gaps in my ribcage where the sunrise shines through to my heart   
and you are the part of the sunset that is so pink   
the grasshoppers think ‘maybe we should just stop and watch’  
You are the moon when it blooms for the very first time  
and the child, inspired, unwound the little jar that set 10,000 grasshoppers free.   
And you drive me fucking crazy.  
I mean insanely." Connor blushed fervently, embarrassment making itself known along his nose bridge and ears. 

"You make me wanna take a fork to my eyeballs,  
rip the hair from my armpits and shove it down my throat  
‘cause I would rather choke than argue another minute with you,  
but you are so pretty and smart.   
You know so many words.  
You’re every poem I would write if ink could ever hold the light that glows from your toes   
when you’re climbing up trees.  
I swear you got sap running thick in your veins   
and I never love you more than when you’re mourning the death of raindrops falling forsaken on pavement." Jared was blushing, admittedly embarrassed. 

"God, I love how you hate pavement but you make me wanna smash my skull on pavement.  
It’s true when we argue you make me wanna rip off my nose, bone and all,  
like my uncle Billy used to pretend to do   
he’d say 'Boy, I’m gonna rip off your nose'  
and he’d tug at my face and hold out half his thumb  
and half the time he’d fool me and I’d start crying but I’m older now.  
and I’m not lying you make me wanna rip off my nose  
…except when you don’t  
…Sometimes you make me wish I had an extra nose only to smell your hair because I love how your hair smells like hair.   
I always hated the smell of shampoo." Connor smiled slightly, hiding his face behind his mass of hair. 

"Besides, I love you, it’s true.   
The way you pretend to chew gum when you’re nervous.  
The way you stick out your tongue when you look in the mirror  
‘cause you think your face is shaped better that way.  
And I love the way you pray.  
And I love the way you chew and use chopsticks like you’re from Japan  
or China or where ever chopsticks are from.   
God, you’re a woman of culture I wanna eat you like not a vulture… A swan.  
I wanna eat you like swans eat flowers.  
Baby, if swans ever ate flowers I would eat you like that for hours  
…except when you’re sour  
… And acting like a self-righteous grumpy old grump like you do sometimes   
‘cause those times you make me wanna run to the edge of the fucking world  
and hurl myself into a black fucking hole and never come back ever…" Jared hadn't known that Connor noticed these little things. 

"And then there are the times I wanna be with you forever.  
And follow you forever where ever you go.  
If only for that freckle in the middle of your belly that’s just like mine  
or the time you corrected me for saying man instead of humankind.   
I can’t believe I did that." Connor smiled softly at that memory. It was amusing, like the meme that is Jared Kyle Aapeli Kleinman. 

"Though I could live forever between the lines of your teeth and eat nothing but memory   
and purge myself clean.  
You are a dream.  
We are a nightmare sometimes,  
but if you wake up crying I’ll be there to hold you  
fold you in the pockets of my faith and say 'we’ll be okay…' " Connor smiled wryly, wringing his hands nervously, smiling softly at Jared. 

"So, uh, did you like it...?" Connor asked nervously. 

Jared stood there, doing his greatest impression of a Salmon, pink and jaw wide. He was speechless. 

Connor was met by a pair of lips crashing to his own. 

Jared gave his signature smirk and asked, "Did that answer your fuckin' question, Murphy?"

**Author's Note:**

> Come yell at me on tumblr. @feared-faeries


End file.
